At the beginning of this month, I turned 24, and I had a little bit of an identity crisis about it. I felt like I had been 23 for so long. I feel like 23 was such a monumental year for me that being 23 had become a part of my who I was as a person. I also felt like becoming 24 marked the end of me being in my “early 20’s.” I am now in my mid-twenties. I am realizing that being a young person has been a big part of my identity for so long, and I am starting to lose that part of myself. I know those of you who are older than me reading this are probably laughing hysterically at the dramatics of all of this, and I know someday when I will look back at this and laugh too. I am okay with that. I know I am making this out to be a bigger monster than it is.
This realization of having my identity tied up in youthfulness has led me to look deeper within as why this is the case for me. My parents started me in school a year earlier than I was supposed to, meaning I started kindergarten at four years old. I was almost always one of the youngest kids in my class. People were always shocked to find out how young I was because, for the most part, I carried myself very maturely (thanks, childhood trauma!). It was something that made me interesting and unique. I also liked how being younger inflated the sense of accomplishment I felt in everything I did. Starting college at 17, graduating at 21, and landing my first “real” job that same year. I felt like Doogie Howser! At this point, I think it’s important to note I am Enneagram type 4w3, which I feel has come out a lot in these reflections.
Now I am 24, and I feel like my age is becoming less and less a part of something that makes me unique. However, in reflecting on these feelings, I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing. The sense of inflated self-worth in my accomplishments just because of my age was completely arbitrary. The fact that I graduated from college is an accomplishment all on its own. It would have not been made any lesser just because of my age. Even though I am getting older, my accomplishments will still be accomplishments. I am unique and interesting, not because of the year I was born, but because of my own experiences and thoughts. I have a stable job that I can support myself with, I have a partner, family, and friends who love me, and I am pursuing my passion for writing and vlogging!
Speaking of my passion! Please enjoy this vlog of how I spent my birthday weekend! I’ll be filming part 2 of the celebration this weekend! Also, if you haven’t already check out the challenge we are doing to end 2019 called End With A Bang!! You can join our facebook group to get weekly motivational blog posts and join the discussion!
Thank you all for letting me share this with you!